There. Bang. Lessons. Blessings in disguise. Oftentimes they felt like a slap in the face or they were a gentle tap on the shoulder accompanied by a howling voice to  say “No, that was not quite right”. All undoubtedly valuable, nonetheles, and important in no particular order. Five lessons turned into five personal commandments.

1. Truth telling does wonders for your own sanity, even when the truth is uncomfortable and hurts. Being honest takes guts but when you speak to yoursef with not cheat-sheet in hand, it feels utterly liberating. The lightness that comes with not tricking you is powerful and takes a massive burden off your shoulders. I advocate honesty above anything else: be honest with yourself, about your flaws, your limitations, your aspirations, on what success means to you, on what living life on your own terms means to you. Your  mind can be a cheater but the gut knows what feels wrong and what does not.
2. Don’t ever succumb to the temptation of comparing your life to somebody else’s life. Comparison is said to be the thief of joy for a reason. Don’t ever commit that capital sin. The temptation will always remain strong. It is ubiquitous:  on Social media, on the overdone and fake versions some people manage to get across, on wishful thinkers… We are surrounded by stories and tales of deceit. Tales as old as time. And, we shall not forget: we are all fighting  battles; even the owners of that polished self-confidence some vye for and that enviable accomplishments reel.
3. Some people are incredibly skilled at saying exactly what you want to hear. Trust your gut and trust those first comments that did not click, that attitude that did not feel quite right. They are usually a powerful sign that you should not get entangled in relationships and situationships that go nowhere.  Next time someone tells you “I like/want/ love you” ask them: what for?
4. You are entitled  to change route and go back to square one as many times as needed and you are  allowed to hit one or more brick walls on the process to find your paths. Because, there will always be more than one path. Clarity and direction comes from engagement, and the trial and error will always trump the no-trial-and-no-error-at-all. And another top tip I learnt: nobody knows 100% exactly what they are doing.
5. Making vows to yourself and others on where will you be X year’s time from now,  is stress-inducing and sometimes even pointless. I have never been struck by any Zen-Buddhism-type of enlightment but I have learned to accept that there will be times when you need to surrender to the flow of life and simply trust the course it will take. I learned that, in the same way I have given others the benefit of the doubt, I may as well give the Universe that exact same benefit. Why would not it be capable of steering my route in the right direction even when that route does not seem 100%  obvious? I’ve always been more inclined to zigzaging my way rather than taking the straightest of highways. And I have reconciled myself to the idea that this is OK, too.

Photo by @sweet.40s

Barcelona Street art